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Oh, The Relief! CND Solar Oil

21 May

CND SOLAR OILI’ve been away from my desk for the last while — working at desks in offices, and ahem, away for the weekend in the South of France — and if there was any sound indicator that I haven’t been sitting in my own seat, it’s one look at my cuticles.

I’d have to put up some sort of trauma warning if I was to post a photo of them. Like the WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT that the Daily Mail often trots out. {Yeah, tell me you don’t often visit the Sidebar of Shame.}

They are in rag order, and the reason they are is because: not at my desk, where all my nail treats live. They live here because since I mainly work from home, and because I am so bad at tending to my nail health, it seemed like if I kept them right next to my computer, I would actually use them.

This plan works, when I am actually here.

Anyway! I just applied a healthy amount of CND Solar Oil: Nail & Cuticle Conditioner, and if my nails could moan, it would be in ecstasy. They were being all ridgey, and the cuticles themselves were raggy and growing at a pace that threatened to cover my nails completely. This was like bathing them in a pool of joyous angel tears — I can feel the benefit already, and the oil hasn’t even sunken in fully.

As oils go, this is not that oily! I literally started this post directly after brushing on the treatment. Sweet almond oil meets vitamin E in a blend that is light, and feels like it’s healing all the way down to the bed of the nail, in addition to rehydrating my poor cuticles.

As ever, with any quality product, a little goes a long way, and €8 for the bottle is a snip. I am just about ready to go another round…

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Eau, How Lovely! Yves Saint Laurent La Laque Couture in Eau de Rose

6 Feb

I am once again trying to mind my manicure, and am {once again} at the ‘healing crisis’ stage. So, you know, overlook the rubbishy-looking cuticles, and less-than-perfect application << I got so excited to see this on the World Famous Super Model Thumbnail™ that I rushed my fences. But looooook:
YSL EAU DE ROSEI just love it. Neutral without being invisible or greige! Not that I don’t heart a good greige — I am not a complete heathen — but this delicate little touch of pinkiness is very welcome.

It does go on a bit thick, so make sure that your bottom coat is on and dry as a brick. If only I had taken this advice!

Whatevs, just really love this, and when my nails are sorted once more… well, I’ll probs bring this to a proper manicurist* and get it done right.

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€24/£18/$27

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*Any recs?

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NeoStrata Nail Conditioning Solution: Exit 9, Represent!

26 Nov

A very Jesse Pinkmanesque expostulation greeted a recent discovery.

So here I was, at the computer, doing my usual multi-tasking, much of which actually involves procrastination, and I decided that once again my nails were not going to de-mankify themselves, so I reached for my sample of NeoStrata Nail Conditioning Solution.
NEOSTRATA NAIL CONDITIONING 1

Meant for nails and cuticles, it is advised to use this twice a day, on brittle and dry nails. Despite its location right there in front of me, I haven’t been using any of the nail products I’ve got on tap, and because I know myself, I reckoned that if I did two coats, it was the same as using it twice a day? Right?!?

And then for some reason — I think it involved trying to avoid doing something, like transcribing a taped interview — I did a third coat, and because the bottle was being turned from the dipping in and out {OMG this is never going to get interesting, I know it}, I caught sight of the mousetype on the back —
NEOSTRATA NAIL CONDITIONING 2
— and I went ‘PRINCETON, YEAH!’

Oh, man. Because I am from near there. And it was, like, unexpected and all that.

Soz. Carry on.

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NeoStrata Nail Conditioning Solution: €10.50/£19.99/$13.50. Hoping that this will help auld schplitty!

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Red Alert! Things That Are; Not Just Lippy

1 Nov

Because I like red. Loads.

SALLY HANSEN Right Red Fred
It’s been ages since the World Famous Super Model Thumbnail™ has made an appearance on this page. Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Right Red Fred {RRP€8.95} is warm red, and that is the brand’s vaunted one coat > meaning, one coat will get you salon coverage. Perfect for us lazy arses who are bad at polishing their nails.

RIMMEL As You Want Victoria
Rimmel London Moisture Renew Lipstick in As You Want Victoria {€6.49} is purely luscious. It feels as soft as a balm, but the pigment! Not what you’d expect from something stuffed full of moisturising vitamins. It isn’t the absolute best for long-wearingness, but blot a couple of times and reapply and you’ll get some mileage out of it.

ARMANI red
And here she is again! Giorgio Armani Nail Lacquer in Four Hundred {€24} is a one coat application as well, and a bluer red, which I tend towards. It is so shiny, you’ll be tempted to eschew a top coat; do use one, if only to make it last even longer.

LOREAL
I have been going-to my L’Oreal Paris GlamShine Stain Splash in Juliet {€12.29} since I got it, and it may be the first lippy installment in I Used It All Up. As shiny as gloss, as light and yet not nearly as drying as stain, this is a spectacular red, and the look will last through hours of talking and drinking. I did quite selflessly put that to the test — anything for you lot.

LOUIS VUITTON Capucine £3250
There is a smaller version of the latest It bag, Louis Vuitton Capucine {£3,250*} that does not look as if Michelle Williams could fit her entire self in it, with room to spare for her keys and cell phone. This snap of the page of Vogue is likely as close as I’m going to get to this, but oh! The silhouette! The brazen redness of it! I die.

FITFLOP FLAME
‘Why is everyone staring at me?’ I wondered grouchily — then I looked down. I had forgotten I was walkin’ around in my FitFlop Super T Sneaker in Flame {£34.99 via clogg.co.uk}. Red shoes make peeps very starey! {These are, in fairness, very much an orangey red…} I had a pair of red patent leather Doc Martins that inspired New York drivers to shout ‘Nice shoes!’ out their windows as they passed.

I got these in a larger size than my usual, as my previous pair of Super Ts still has not broken in properly. I am not super mad, as it’s not really that FitFloppy in terms of support, not old school FitFlop, in any case. Still, it gives good sole, and had I bought the Gogh Moc Snake clogs in Snake Jam (red) instead of Choclate (self explanatory), they’d be featured here to much greater acclaim. Nice wedgy sole, great to walk in, and they make my ankles look skinny!

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*AHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

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Hallowe’en Happiness: A Miscellany

28 Oct

I LOVE this time of year. Love. It. Here’s a bunch of things that make me feel even more of the love.

DEALZ
Just everything in Dealz. Everything. This is the sort of stuff you can buy in a pound shop < using this as the catch-all term for ‘value-priced product store’ and not get The Rage because you don’t need it to last more than a day. Photo slightly blurry due to excitement.

LUSH pumkin
My lil’ LUSH Pumkin Bubble Bar LUSH soot ball {€3.50} didn’t make it through the post in one piece, but he was fated to be merciless crumbled under hot running water anyway. He made a glorious, orange-coloured, orange flower absolute and ylang ylang scented bath, full of froth and refreshment. The little guy on the right is the Soot Ball Bath Bomb who apparently will not turn the bath black. I don’t think I would have minded, just for the sake of novelty. He will, in fact, turn the water gold, and the scents involved here are frankincense, tonka and sandalwood. I may run out and get one while they last!

IMPRESS
Oh, if only I was capable of doing these super fantastic imPRESS Nails {€8}! My nail beds are so unsuited to these long and thin shaped yokes — I’ve tried, I’ve tried! May this inspire you to do a ghoulish manicure that you can then peel off as if it had never been there, just like a ghost.

GALIBARDY
Oh, yeah. I enjoy skulls in the general run of the year, and become fairly delirious around the end of October. This gorgeous piece of statement necklacery is via Helen Galibardy via galibardy.com… Soz, just got lost in the website all over again. C’mere, I think this cost about €50ish, I can’t remember because I don’t care, and I love it, and will wear it all year round, but with especial pride on the 31st.

Tesco Halloween CostumesCopyright Fennell Photography 2013
Have ye childer? And do you suffer from MARTINI 1999 cropprocrastination? I’d say you’re probs SOL at this stage, because if the costumes at Tesco haven’t been all snapped up, I’d be utterly shocked. I have a fondness for this Gold Witch Costume {€7} because A} witches; B} the pose reminds me of one of my better efforts at a costuming, which was the year {1999!} I and my pal Ames went as martinis. Simple and effective! We made skirts out of… taffeta? Sparkly something — organza? and I went with a twist, as you can see, made from wire and foam and acrylic paint.

And then we went to a party and we were the only people that had exerted themselves, which at the time hadn’t bothered me much, but I haven’t dressed up since. In the digging through the archive for that photo, I realise that I’ve never actually worn all my showjumping gear — the white jodhs and the shirt and the tie and the jacket. Ah sure: if worse comes to worse, there’s always my collection of crops…

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Happy Hallowe’en!!!!

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Ride, Sally Ride! Hansen Makes it Through 40 Minutes of Unrelenting Flatwork

19 Apr

Forealz.

POST LESSON 1

When I got back from horseriding, I totally forgot to even check my manicure, because what would be the point — way to keep a positive attitude, Suze! {Or, I just forgot to look.}  When I remembered and I looked, I said, out loud, ‘Holy amazeballs!’ No, I didn’t, but I think I did gasp in admiration.

Okay, Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure — maybe I do buy into your legend after all.

POST LESSON 2

I mean, seriously: we went and went for 40 minutes straight. Not like I’d ever take my gloves off to give my fingernails an airing, or whatever, but the havoc said gloves wreck on the varnish is usually appalling. Hey! Maybe this means I was keeping hands as still as I ought to be! That would also be worthy of a ‘holy amazeballs’ expostulation.

I am desperately excited about every aspect of this result. Honestly, go here and compare!

Amaze.

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Got Yer Spring Right Here: Sally Hansen Totally Tropical Complete Salon Manicure Exotica Collection

17 Apr

VITAMIN SEA
Oh, herlooooooooo.
PALM TREAT
Nothing like a pop of colour to pick you up. That’s Vitamin Sea as the accent nail, and Palm Treat on the rest.

Gotta love Sally Hansen for always having fashion forward colours at a dead reasonable price. Other ‘flavours’ in the Exotica Collection include Sgt. Preppy {a dusty pink}; Evening Glow {a bright orange}; Shore-ly! {beige-y sand}; Tahitian Sunset {melon}; and Go Bananas {uh, yellow, unsurprsingly.}

I had my colours applied by visiting celebrity manicurist Jessica Hoffman, a fellow Yank, though a London-based one. I watched her and hoped to learn, but I think you have to be born with patience? Which I was mainly not? At least when it comes to painting my nails. And I made sure that I waited long enough for them to dry, helped along largely by Jess’ application of Sally’s Insta-Dry Top Coat, which protects against chipping.

I’ve already dinged ‘em though, so I’m still not convinced as to the completeness of the salon manicure. And I’m going horsing tonight, so we’ll see how they hold up to that.

But for right now? I can practically hear the leaves unfurling on the chestnut trees, and whatever the flowers are, that come after the daffs and the croci, they are just about ready to bloom!

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€8.95/£6.99/$7.49

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I Heart This Already: Nails Inc Leather Effect in Noho

15 Apr

NAILS INC leathuh
Mainly? Because the texture is what I end up with anyway, with my srs lack of mad skillz re: manicuring, yo*.

This looks like when I go and pull on a cardie after I’ve done my nails and I think I’ve let enough drying time go by — and I am always proven wrong. But this is on purpose so it’s okay.

It’s like, texture.

I sincerely love everything about it, from its crackly, leathery matte finish on my World Famous Super Model Thumbnail™ to its leathery-lookin’ little lid. Or cap, if you’re not hooked on alliteration.

These go for £12, so really ought to only be €12ish, 13, right? Right?

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Nails Inc have several other monochromatic themed varnishes for S/S13 — will get back to you on those!

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*Sorry, sorry, been mainlining — ha, ha — Breaking Bad, and I am worse than Jesse with my verbal posturing.

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Carrots and Bulldogs and Teeth Foam — Oh My!

4 Apr

I almost called this post TMI, because I received so much info today, I feel like I need a lie down. This is good! and also my job to process it for you, dear readers. I’m just going to do big picture right this second, and get back to you on the details.

Premium hosted a whole lotta products and services today in Residence in Stephen’s Green, a venue that is swiftly becoming a second home. It’s as lovely as a home from home can get: have a look at this…
FLOCKED CEILING PAPERThat there is flocked ceiling paper. Ceiling paper? Is that right? It didn’t look like it was tiles — I couldn’t see any seams. How did it transpire that I had such a view? We’ll get to that. {Nothing saucy involved, more’s the pity.}

The Yes To… line have a big launch coming later in the year, adding Grapefruit, for dark spot and dark circle correction. I’ve got a sample of the Correct & Repair Dark Circle Correcting Eye Cream, I’ll get back to yees on this.

I blogged about Bulldog Natural Skincare back in September, when it was total crazy talk to be posting about stocking fillers. I bet you were rushing round like an eejit, trying to but for the d00ds in your life, hmmm? Don’t be caught short this year, and be sure to keep an eye out for the new additions to the line, in the form of Sensitive Shave Cream and Original Shower Gel. I’ll be Q&Aing with co-founder Simon Duffy in the near future.

Sharing space with the boy’s stuff was St Tropez, who have a new Gradual Tan Plus Anti-Aging for Face lotion; Lytesse, whose Shapewear is meant to firm up yer bum and take off inches {ah, sure, I’ll give it a go}; and Seche, whose one-coat wonder nail varnish was applied to my World Famous Supermodel Thumbnail™ and looks pretty amazing:
SECHE one coat

I didn’t get the rest of me fingers did because I was all like, Oh I don’t have the time — but then I got dazzled by the promise of Pearlys Teeth Brightening Treatment, and I just had to go for it.

Brightening, not whitening, which is what made it attractive to me: too scared of peroxide, and not so sure about lasering, I was happy enough to be convinced into giving the three part, roughly twenty minute procedure a go. Which was why I ended up flat on my back on a plinth, looking like The Silence of the Lambs.

PEARLY

Ahhahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa. I just don’t care. That is totally crazy, that picture. Don’t. Give. A. Toss. It’s funny.

And my teeth look brighter! And now I am encouraged to use the brand’s Daily Teeth Whiten Foam {€25}! And… yeah, no, that picture is totally insane.

Too much excitement! I deffo need that nap.

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For even more information, go to premium.ie

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When Worlds Collide: Mane ‘n Tail Hoofmaker Hand & Nail Therapy

7 Feb

Ah, lads. Seriously? All this package is lacking is my name on it.

MANE N TAIL hoofmakerHave I not got manky nails? Have I not got a love of horses, and horseriding, and all things horsey in general? < Except for the DNA thing about the burgers?

Have I also not got a lazy streak a mile wide that means even when I find a miracle fingernail cure the like of Dr Lewinn’s, and even though I keep it right there next to my computer, I still manage to forget to use it? Is there any way in the world to keep me using something that is good for me?

Yup — just slap a picture of a horse on it.

I don’t remember how The Original Mane ‘n Tail Shampoo & Conditioner got back on my radar. I used to it to good effect many years ago when I was still living in the States, following an ill-advised bob. The hairstyle just didn’t suit me, and I was keen {desperate} to get my long hair back. This was before my conversion to all things equine, and whilst I certainly wasn’t responding back then to the picture of the horses on the containers, I snapped up it up anyway — it said it was going to grow my hair back.

Actually, it didn’t promise that, but nevertheless! My hair grew back really quickly, and with body. And shine! And I remember thinking, My scalp feels really healthy.

Ah! Now I know why this brand came to mind: Scalps are the New Black. Products targeted for scalp health are on the ascendant — and next week I’ll be talking about the fantastic Nioxin Scalp Renew Dermabrasion Treatment — so some little connection in my neural map referring to The Hair must have snapped a synapse or something.

I got some S&C samples to review, and, long story long, the Hoofmaker was included, too.

What happened was, this was originally developed to treat cracked hoofs, but the horse owners noticed that their own hands were improving from the use of it. Here are the bullet points:

> Moisturizes dry and cracked nails
> Protects against nail damage
> Maintains strong and flexible nails
> Softens and conditions callused, rough areas
> Restores vial nutrients

The last one is not an issue for me, which is why I never bother with hand creams that say they help your nails too. My hands are vitally nutriented, and never get dry. But my feet! My manky feet! I can use this on my own hooves!

I’m gonna be Mane ‘n Tail from head to toe!

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The Original Mane ‘n Tail Hoofmaker has an RRP of €7.95/£7.99/$2.99

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Other pony mad people make like to visit here.

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