The Face Mask That is an Actual Mask: Olay Total Effects

22 Apr

Someone thought this was a good idea.
OLAY mask

I… I don’t even know where to begin. Unless it’s with the addition of a Nightmare on Elm Street tag to go with my Silence of the Lambs look {scroll down, you’ll know it when you see it.}

I… Okay, Olay 7-in-1 Anti-Ageing Total Effects Mask. Love the idea of a thing infused with anti-ageing stuff that you lay on your face, and it’s all like you’re in a spa. Except yesterday was a Working Sunday, and I can’t actually work with this thing on my face — was soooo tempted to put on my specs, total Invisible Woman vibe — and I needed to get this work done, and lying around even for fifteen minutes was not gonna happen.

I ended up converting RGB photos in Photoshop, to CMYK, because you don’t really need sight for that. I will say that the mask didn’t slip a’tall, so, that’s something, I guess.

I — the thing is, I bet this is great in the summer, when you want a blast of chilly on your weather beaten gob. This is cold, like it just came out of the fridge. I also realise that I have a large face, and the thing probably wasn’t actually going to fit anyway, and that the bridge of my nose is the one part of my face that doesn’t need any of the 7 benefits accorded by this BEAUTY Anti Ageing 4treatment, but this did not fit! And I kept trying to make it fit, until I got stuck into the file conversions and — well, I was going to say I forgot about it, but, no. Not possible.

The 7 benefits are: fine line minimisation, moisturisation, spot minimising, tone enhancement, brightening — these last three are very much akin to one another — pore minimising and exfoliation. After you’ve let the youth juice sit on yer face for the fifteen, you then massage the remaining nectar into your skin.

It felt sticky, and smelled of too much fragrance. I did feel refreshed, however, so that was something, too. Two things that were okay. Okay.

My only regret was that it was indeed a Sunday, and the chances of my doorbell ringing were nil. I’d say I’d get some fun running down to the postman in this yoke. I may give this another chance, one in which I am lying in a relaxed state — maybe the gravity will help the mask settle better — but seriously? Needs way more stretchy.

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RRP €19/£16.99

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Ride, Sally Ride! Hansen Makes it Through 40 Minutes of Unrelenting Flatwork

19 Apr

Forealz.

POST LESSON 1

When I got back from horseriding, I totally forgot to even check my manicure, because what would be the point — way to keep a positive attitude, Suze! {Or, I just forgot to look.}  When I remembered and I looked, I said, out loud, ‘Holy amazeballs!’ No, I didn’t, but I think I did gasp in admiration.

Okay, Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure — maybe I do buy into your legend after all.

POST LESSON 2

I mean, seriously: we went and went for 40 minutes straight. Not like I’d ever take my gloves off to give my fingernails an airing, or whatever, but the havoc said gloves wreck on the varnish is usually appalling. Hey! Maybe this means I was keeping hands as still as I ought to be! That would also be worthy of a ‘holy amazeballs’ expostulation.

I am desperately excited about every aspect of this result. Honestly, go here and compare!

Amaze.

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Got Yer Spring Right Here: Sally Hansen Totally Tropical Complete Salon Manicure Exotica Collection

17 Apr

VITAMIN SEA
Oh, herlooooooooo.
PALM TREAT
Nothing like a pop of colour to pick you up. That’s Vitamin Sea as the accent nail, and Palm Treat on the rest.

Gotta love Sally Hansen for always having fashion forward colours at a dead reasonable price. Other ‘flavours’ in the Exotica Collection include Sgt. Preppy {a dusty pink}; Evening Glow {a bright orange}; Shore-ly! {beige-y sand}; Tahitian Sunset {melon}; and Go Bananas {uh, yellow, unsurprsingly.}

I had my colours applied by visiting celebrity manicurist Jessica Hoffman, a fellow Yank, though a London-based one. I watched her and hoped to learn, but I think you have to be born with patience? Which I was mainly not? At least when it comes to painting my nails. And I made sure that I waited long enough for them to dry, helped along largely by Jess’ application of Sally’s Insta-Dry Top Coat, which protects against chipping.

I’ve already dinged ‘em though, so I’m still not convinced as to the completeness of the salon manicure. And I’m going horsing tonight, so we’ll see how they hold up to that.

But for right now? I can practically hear the leaves unfurling on the chestnut trees, and whatever the flowers are, that come after the daffs and the croci, they are just about ready to bloom!

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€8.95/£6.99/$7.49

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I Heart This Already: Nails Inc Leather Effect in Noho

15 Apr

NAILS INC leathuh
Mainly? Because the texture is what I end up with anyway, with my srs lack of mad skillz re: manicuring, yo*.

This looks like when I go and pull on a cardie after I’ve done my nails and I think I’ve let enough drying time go by — and I am always proven wrong. But this is on purpose so it’s okay.

It’s like, texture.

I sincerely love everything about it, from its crackly, leathery matte finish on my World Famous Super Model Thumbnail™ to its leathery-lookin’ little lid. Or cap, if you’re not hooked on alliteration.

These go for £12, so really ought to only be €12ish, 13, right? Right?

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Nails Inc have several other monochromatic themed varnishes for S/S13 — will get back to you on those!

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*Sorry, sorry, been mainlining — ha, ha — Breaking Bad, and I am worse than Jesse with my verbal posturing.

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Start Spreading the Nudes: L’Oréal Paris BB Blush

12 Apr

Information and an ear worm. You’re. So. Welcome.

I fell in love with Nude Magique BB Cream this time last year,and it is still my go-to when I want light but comprehensive facial coverage.

NUDE MAGIQUE BB BLUSHImagine my delira when I received this today! Despite my love for the above, which has a turns-colour-to-match-your-skintone quality about it, I am not certain I am convinced by this alchemy. I have come across a Smashbox lippy ting that I liked… hang on… ah, right: O-Gloss Intuitive Lip Gloss. Yeah, I think I liked that, I am really reaching into the wayback machine on this one. Anyway! Haven’t been sure, because I don’t really know how it works, and also know that if someone tried to explain it to me, I’d zone out as soon as someone mentioned a molecule, or whatever. I could google it, I suppose. Ugh.

Well! The internet doesn’t seem to know! Unless how does intuitive makeup work is poor SEO. It’s to do with Ph, is as near as I can get. That’s when you put the paper in the liquid, right, and it changes colour? Is that chemistry? Did I even do chemistry? Oh, Walter White, are you dying right now, yo?

Whatever the Science, I immediately dabbed a dot onto my left paw.
BB BLUSH 2

First off: use a brush to apply, or do it the old-fashioned way and use your finger. Now, in fairness, you are not likely to dab the tube directly onto your face {or are you?} I dabbed straight from the tube, and the blending, it was a little difficult. < I don’t know that there was any point in all that, but there you go.

I’m just sayin’: blending may be an issue, so be prepared.

Other than that? A lovely, Victorian-valentine-esque rosy rose, the colour of which I think defines ‘in rude health’*.

Today, so far, is not a makeup day — that may change if the courier I am expecting comes sooner rather than later. Contrary to what you may believe, I rarely sit around the house sporting a full face of slap. So, we’ll just have to wait and see what it looks like on my cheekbone area.

I have high hopes!

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Nude Magique BB Blush: €11.99/£7.99

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*Which is British English for being very healthy, in which ‘rude’ = ‘robust’ .**

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**And it was no hardship to google that.

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Haiku Review: Rimmel Apocalips Lip Lacquer

10 Apr

Resistance: futile.
Originality: none.
Apocalips: now.

*Sigh* I’ve haven’t done one of these in age, and hell, that wee pome just wrote itself. I’ve seen some dissent On The Twitters, and different strokes/different folks, but as for me, I am lovin’ Apocalips Lip Lacquer from Rimmel London.

APOCALYPTIC 303
Above is Apocalyptic, and pretty much engenders everything I adore about these lippys. The pigment is APOCALIPS appintense, but the weight is light, light, light. The applicator is angled, doe foot style, with that little well in the centre — this allows you to get the bulk of it in the middle of your lips, where it belongs, and allows just enough lacquer to go around the edges of yer gob so you can build it slowly.

That’s Nude Eclipse to the right, which I think wins for the Most Inexplicable Lipstick Name Ever, but I love this one too; I find it is the perfect accompaniment to a deeply smokey eye.

They are glossy and again, light, like a lip gloss, but unlike dark glosses, they hold their own colour. I find that when I use many darkly pigmented glosses, they don’t mix well with the actual colour of my lips, and look like my mouth is past its sell-by date. Not terribly appealing. These have as much visual heft as a lipstick, at a third of the perceived weightiness.

In addition to the colours above, my other faves are Celestial {blue-y pink}, Galaxy {sparkly mauve}. Big Bang is another red that went a bit orange-y on me, but YMMV!

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 €7.95/£4.99

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Snap! Judgment: SkinCeuticals Mineral Radiance UV Defense

9 Apr

Haven’t done one of these in an age!SKINCEUTICALS bottle

It’s a lot of name for a little bottle, but SkinCeuticals wants us all to know that this covers all the bases, much less your face {click on the photo for the full effect.} It’s got just about everything you’d want in an SPF, in that, among other things, it is like more like a makeup than an annoying sunscreen — a thick, greasy, odd-smelling sunscreen. Now, I’m getting much better about using the stuff, espesh when out on the horse, even under overcast skies, but it’s still something of a nuisance. Not as much of a nuisance as some class of adverse skin condition, of course! But still. What if you’ve got sensitive skin, the pores of which are easily clogged? I would have few if any products to recommend to you, in that case.

This looks to do all things that BB creams are meant to do, except this looks more science-y, and therefore possibly more trustworthy.

As always, when it comes to this sort of post, it does what it says in the title: I am simply reacting to this product in an instant — I haven’t had the chance to try this out in the world yet.

So the main thing with this is, it is tinted.

SKINCEUTICALS dot

Since most SPFs, if not all, are white-creamy-coloured, this is already something different.

It looked a little darker than that in real life {I will get a proper camera someday…}, and I was a tiny bit worried about that. I am not as sallow as I think I am, nor have I begun my annual tanning rituals, so I was somewhat taken aback.

There was, however, zero fragrance, and it felt light as feather.

Then, I blended.

SKINCEUTICALS blended

It is somewhat ruddier than my skin tone, but it’s got a lovely shimmer to it.

On my actual face?
SKINCEUTICALS on the gob

Well, it feels like there is nothing on it, which is exactly the point. It also looks like there is nothing on it, which makes it not like a BB after all. Howevs: the broad spectrum coverage plus the lightest of its being minus the sticky stinky quality of most SPFs equals something I will use under makeup, and also when I’m sporting about, as I do.

I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for the sun, and will reach for this when it shows its face again…

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SkinCeuticals Mineral Radiance UV Defense SPF 50 is available in June, RRP €43. Ring 1850 812 740 for stockist info.

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What is Wrong with This Picture?

8 Apr

SO RONREY
How crazy it this? Compared, of course, to this…
OMHaircare
… which is crazy in the other direction.

So what’s up with that?

A} The tub is smaller, in my new place — which I have lived in for a whole year, so is not really ‘my new place’, but is considered to be such, by me and many of my pals.
B} I have been trying & testing away, for The Herald, and have used up a lot of shampoo and conditioner in the last two months.
C} Er. There is actually a little bucket-y thing full of stuff tucked away here, next to the toilet.
SO RONREY, NOT
Ha, ha.

My bath looks so nice and clean and uncluttered! But also a little bit sad. Especially the super lonely little tub of John Frieda Sheer Blonde® Blonde Hair Repair Conditioning Treatment {€7.03}, which I use for pre-shampoo deep conditionin.

The thing is, every single one of these combos is a guaranteed Good Hair Day, of a Very Specific Sort.

*For a Thick, Full, Voluminous Hair Day: Well, Mane ‘n’ Tail, obvs. Couldn’t be happier to have this available in Ireland. Years ago, I ill-advisedly cut my hair short, and this grew it all back in like, no time a’tall.

*For a Super Shiny and Soft Hair Day: It’s a toss up between the Trilogy Refresh & Shine Shampoo & Conditioner {€15.95/each} and the Green Angel Seaweed Shampoo & Conditioner {€14.95/each}, because both are efficacious in the soft-and-shiny department. Neither are too fragranced, either, if that is an issue for you.

*For a Happy, Magically Clean and Healthy Scalp Hair Day: I am loving Aveda’s Invati Range. It’s a system! which includes Exfoliating Shampoo, Thickening Conditioner and Scalp Revitaliser {€27/€29/€54}; all three can be bought as a set from petals.ie for €100 with free shipping in Ireland.

And what’s in the bucket-y thing? That’s a post for another day…

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See here for the run down on the product in that second photo.

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Carrots and Bulldogs and Teeth Foam — Oh My!

4 Apr

I almost called this post TMI, because I received so much info today, I feel like I need a lie down. This is good! and also my job to process it for you, dear readers. I’m just going to do big picture right this second, and get back to you on the details.

Premium hosted a whole lotta products and services today in Residence in Stephen’s Green, a venue that is swiftly becoming a second home. It’s as lovely as a home from home can get: have a look at this…
FLOCKED CEILING PAPERThat there is flocked ceiling paper. Ceiling paper? Is that right? It didn’t look like it was tiles — I couldn’t see any seams. How did it transpire that I had such a view? We’ll get to that. {Nothing saucy involved, more’s the pity.}

The Yes To… line have a big launch coming later in the year, adding Grapefruit, for dark spot and dark circle correction. I’ve got a sample of the Correct & Repair Dark Circle Correcting Eye Cream, I’ll get back to yees on this.

I blogged about Bulldog Natural Skincare back in September, when it was total crazy talk to be posting about stocking fillers. I bet you were rushing round like an eejit, trying to but for the d00ds in your life, hmmm? Don’t be caught short this year, and be sure to keep an eye out for the new additions to the line, in the form of Sensitive Shave Cream and Original Shower Gel. I’ll be Q&Aing with co-founder Simon Duffy in the near future.

Sharing space with the boy’s stuff was St Tropez, who have a new Gradual Tan Plus Anti-Aging for Face lotion; Lytesse, whose Shapewear is meant to firm up yer bum and take off inches {ah, sure, I’ll give it a go}; and Seche, whose one-coat wonder nail varnish was applied to my World Famous Supermodel Thumbnail™ and looks pretty amazing:
SECHE one coat

I didn’t get the rest of me fingers did because I was all like, Oh I don’t have the time — but then I got dazzled by the promise of Pearlys Teeth Brightening Treatment, and I just had to go for it.

Brightening, not whitening, which is what made it attractive to me: too scared of peroxide, and not so sure about lasering, I was happy enough to be convinced into giving the three part, roughly twenty minute procedure a go. Which was why I ended up flat on my back on a plinth, looking like The Silence of the Lambs.

PEARLY

Ahhahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa. I just don’t care. That is totally crazy, that picture. Don’t. Give. A. Toss. It’s funny.

And my teeth look brighter! And now I am encouraged to use the brand’s Daily Teeth Whiten Foam {€25}! And… yeah, no, that picture is totally insane.

Too much excitement! I deffo need that nap.

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For even more information, go to premium.ie

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Sweet Sixteen Minus Six: Clinique Clarifying Lotion

2 Apr

NUMBER 1!!!!11! Hope you enjoyed this. When I started the blog, I just about killed myself writing these things. Unlike my work in The Herald, these posts seemed sooooo looooong, but now I’m in the swing. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for new reviews and features this week!

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When I was in my 20s, my godmother recommended that I start a proper skin care regimen. The gist of her argument was that just because I looked amazing and youthful right then didn’t mean that I could I take it for granted, and if I wanted to extend my years of amazingness and youthiness, I had better get cracking right away.

Clinique Clarifying tonerI chose Clinique. I can’t remember why, except that their fresh and spare ad campaigns made them, in my mind, modern and suited to my youthful amazingness. I got the 3-step thingie — the soap, the yellow moisturiser, and the Clarifying Lotion 2. I had to google the yellow stuff just now (Dramatically Different!) because I stopped using it ages ago, and the soap is distant, misty memory, but I have not yet found anything that is as effective as the Clarifying Lotion in terms of cleaning and toning my skin.

Despite its slightly astringent tingle, it doesn’t dry out my face. I just don’t feel like I’ve cleaned off the day if I don’t feel that blast of icy freshness. And who can argue with the power of Clinique Bonus Days! I ask you! Even after all these years of beauty largesse, the sight of a wee collection of cunningly assembled samples in some class of clever case sends a thrill racing through my veins. I’ve still got the mini bottle from that one Bonus that one Time, that had held Clarifying Toner — I continue to decant into it when traveling, and wouldn’t be without it.

Yes, indeed: many, many years on, it’s still a go-to/must have,/unassailable element of my beauty regimen. If you must know how many years it has been, well, I remember when all this product came in glass bottles. I think the years have been pretty kind to me, so clearly Clinique has done its job well. Many thanks to them, and to Auntie Sue, too!

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€36/$46/£33

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