Sometimes, my approach to testing products is less than scientific. When my long-suffering postman handed over a package of the new Crème Fraîche de Beauté collection from Nuxe {he’s got to be dying to ask me what is up with all these parcels}, I opened it, had a quick look, and put it to the side. It had to join the queue, and to be honest, some of the packaging out of France is way overdone. Why all these words, French package designers?

Exhibit A. This is the inside of the box. The inside of the box! Plus there’s the usual foldy-uppy-multi-lingual palaver wrapped around the container. The outside of the box is pure carnage. And ultimately? There is nothing to tell me why this stuff smells so gorgeously fantastic. Because it does, it smells like the freshest, most invigorating line of beauty products I have ever smelled.

Back to my less-than-laboratory environment. I was sitting here the other day, stumped for a word or phrase, so I reached into the Nuxe package and came up with the Masque Crème Fraîche de Beauté. Ah, sure, thought I, let’s just lash some of this on, why not? Why not, indeed. Might be a good idea, oh, I don’t know, to cleanse and/or tone before applying a mask {or masque.} I tend to think, well, if it’s gonna work, it best be workin’ on skin that is in rag order, right? So, I liberated the tube from its tomb of text, peeled off the annoying but sanitary little foil protective thingie, slapped some on —

And was immediately transported into a sunlit meadow, its grasses freshly cut. The scent of flora is everywhere: not just flowers, but trees as well, and I swear I can smell the cool water of a bubbling brook. All I wanted to do was to lie down and breathe and breathe and breathe —

Cut to me lying on the floor of my sitting room. Nah, just kidding! But I felt inspired to forgive the brand its unnecessary packaging verbiage — well, almost. What is in this?!!? Not that I reckon I can reproduce this myself. I tried to do that once! With a base cream from Atlantic Aromatics! I gathered together my lime, basil, and mandarin essential oils, keen to make up my own Jo Malone scent, except it came out smelling like broccoli.

I’ve learned my lesson there. I’m only curious, is all. I looked it up, of course, and came up with Lupin, Pea, Green Tea, Acacia, Almond, Coconut, Oat, and non GM Soya. Yeah, no. What is acacia, even? {A flowering shrub/tree.} So maybe acacia and lupin are the cornerstones of this evocative fragrance. Soya? Please.

In further bad practice, I’ve just now slathered on some of the Crème Fraîche de Beauté Enrichie, which is for Dry to Very Dry Sensitive Skin {see what I did there, French copypersons?} on skin that has not been properly prepared to receive it. I don’t care. It feels good, cooling and soothing — just like it says there on the label.

As to the 24 hour thing: these products are meant to continually moisturize for a full day/night cycle. I’m not completely certain how that works, and will ask around. I don’t know that I believe it, frankly. I do believe that the brand continue to do what they say they will, in a lovely and uncharacteristically simple portmanteau-ish way: Nature and Luxe = Nuxe. I can certainly vouch for that working well — sure, it’s as plain as the nose on my face.

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Nuxe’s Crème Fraîche de Beauté collection ranges from €20 to €32, and is available in chemists nationwide.