Well, I can’t get my head round this ‘holiday’ — not that mums don’t deserve one, inverted commas or not! — but where I come from, Mother’s Day is in May or something, and my mum isn’t here {in Ireland, I mean, she’s still here here.} Ambivalence reigns.

Although I have lovely friends, both here and in Amurraka, that are mums!

I’ll quit while I’m ahead.

Look at the wee collage I made in Photoshop! I had to stop tweaking because I was spending way too much time on it. It’s okay. Oh, shoot, there’s just one thing I could —

Enough! Clockwise, from left:

I love the look of this wee thing, and if your mum is in any way gadgety — that sounds wrong… — the Logitech Mini Boom Box (€79.99; available from Harvey Norman) is a useful and fun addition to her handbag. It’s not only a mobile speaker that pairs via Bluetooth with whatever other gadgety thing she’s got, but it is also a speakerphone, so when she wants to tell a story to a bunch of people, and you’re not there, she can put you on speaker. You know what I’m talking about.

Then there’s the VOYA Me Time Anti-ageing Moisturiser (€57). Now, do you feel the hair on the back of your neck rising at the notion of handing mum anti-ageing anything? Don’t be afraid! You just say that you heard this product is great (it is: it’s guaranteed Irish and made from sustainably harvested seaweed right off our own shores) and that it’s never too early to start fending off the signs of ageing. This implies that there’s no wrinkles a’tall, yeah? Did I do that right?

Okay, I don’t know, but I think if I handed my mother a box of Viviscal Maximum Strength Hair Nourishment (€49.95 for 60 tablets), she’d squint down at the box, raise her eyebrows just so, and say, ‘Oh! Okay.’ I am laugh-quivering at myself right this second. Seriously, though? Nothing breaks my heart like female pattern-baldness, and I’m kinda giving these consideration myself. I don’t know how to present this, but if your mum has gorgeous hair, why shouldn’t she be able to keep it? Two tablets a day help to nourish the follicles from the inside out, and there’s also shampoo and conditioner to back it up. Easy peasy.

The chicken-hearted among us, who nevertheless have exquisite taste, may like to grab up one of these Grace Handbags (€35) from beautycouture… sorry, got lost surfing all those adorable bags, and made a side trip into the clutches. Beautycouture.ie is another Irish business that deserves your support, and frankly, at those prices, I think mum-and-daughter matching malas is a terrific idea.

Finally, a gift box is a glorious thing, and Burt’s Bees Head to Toe Kit (€16.95) is completely brilliant. You’ve got mum covered from, uh, head to toe, from Mr Bee’s excellent Coconut Foot Cream, through the Fabulously Fresh Peppermint & Rosemary Body Wash, the Naturally Nourishing Milk & Honey Body Lotion, the Soap Bark and Chamomile Deep Cleansing Cream, to the Hand Salve and Beeswax Lip Balm. Every extremity accounted for!