Love this: look deep into my eyes. What are they saying?

They are saying, ‘Uh huh, sure. Eyelash extensions? I’ll believe it when I — ha ha! — see it.’

Show me the curly.

Hmmm, okay, yeah, they look curly, all right. So, how do they work?

My lash technician, Natalie, took a lash from the tray, and affixed it to one of my own, 1mm from the root. It was not stuck on my eyelid as temporary individual lashes are stuck on. This semi-permanent lash will grow along with my own — which is, in itself, semi-permanent, as it’s gonna fall out in its own good time.

What’s the life expectancy of a lash, anyway? Their growing phase is 30 to 45 days; this is known as the anagen phase. In the catagen phase, the hair stops growing; in the telogen phase, it hangs and chills for up to 100 days.

So, I don’t even know what’s going to happen with these lashes, as far as how long they will last. Which phase are my lashes in? They are most likely covering the whole spectrum of growth. And I don’t really notice them falling out so much, but they must. I do notice that I always make a wish on a fallen lash — and google has just informed me that I’ve bin doin it rong, as I haven’t been blowing it off my finger whilst wishing. That explains it.

Natalie asked, ‘Would you like a natural look, or —’

‘I want wow,’ I replied. ‘I want bling.’

I lay back, swathed in fleecy blankets, for two hours. Natalie painstakingly applied them, one by one, about thirty apiece on each eye. {How many lashes do I have on each eye?* This is the sort of thing you think about when you are lying around for two hours.} I mostly zoned, then had a loo break — during which time I avoided the mirrors like a vampire — and then went and zoned out for the rest of it.

A coating of sealer was applied, and then I was done.

What had I envisioned? I think I was expecting a uniform fringe of lashes, like falsies. Which they are not, but still — look!

Wowee! And just to drive the point home:

Natalie made sure nothing was sticking to anything else, but of course, with the thought in my head, I kept poking at my left lid a little. These are tanglier than I normally sport, and even though they are super long, they still look natural.

Do I want natural? I am actually not sure! I am, however, looking forward to doing them up all smokey and whatnot and seeing how it goes.

Some don’ts:
> No mascara a’tall. Hmmph. Okay. I mean, I guess I don’t need it. I am really resisting this notion. May have to join a post-mascara support group.
> No oil-based makeup removers.
> No lash curlers, which I never used anyway {Humblebrag.}
> No rubbing the eyes when removing makeup, which is like… well, it’s past time I was gentler on my eye area, I reckon. No more treating my face in general like I am sand-blasting a wall.

These are meant to last for six weeks. We — ha,ha — shall see.

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Venus Lash is available at Venus Medical, Dundrum. To celebrate the launch of this service, the application of a full set of lashes is €99. Ring 01-2962747 for more info, or see venusmedical.ie.

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*About 100-150 lashes per eye, depending on your own personal… hirsuteness? Are lashes hairs? Oh, God, step away from the google, Suze.

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Natalie showed me the implement with which she affixed the lashes, and I am sparing you The Fear. It was straight out of Dead Ringers.

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