I know, I know — I know! But even here in Ireland, where we expect such things as hail and rain and sun and hail and rain in one hour, we are getting fed up.
It is feckin’ May, dammit. I have things I need to use and have not got much impetus to do so.
I know I am an amateur when it comes to self-tanning. I still abide by these now arbitrary rules as to when it is actually ‘summer’. Heck, I’d begun relaxing them in recent years to incorporate May, but look where we are with that. How’m I s’posed to check all this stuff I’ve got if there is not going to be A} sun to block or B} sun to illuminate the applied shine?
There’s that bottle of Clarins Splendours Shimmer Body Oil {€37}, which falls squarely in the B category. Sure, I could douse myself from head to toe, and how I yearn to do so, but then what? Cover it up with a jumper? What a waste! I also have a tub of He-Shi’s Luminous Shimmer {€12.60}, not pictured because I think it ran away from home, and is heading for climes in which it can be shown to its best advantage. Cannot believe the bitch did not take me with it.
I suppose I could use La Roche-Posay’s Anthelios XL Invisible Nutritiv Oil SPF50+ {€22} when I go horseriding, and I think I will definitely try in on my face. I found the Anthelios XL Extreme Fluid {€19.50} to come over rather Chaplinesque — not a good look.
At least I’ll get some use out of the above. But whither my massive IsaDora Bronzing Powder {€25.95}, much less my long-awaited and anticipated Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick {€42.50}? Or the new Vichy Capital Soleil Beautifying Sun Protection Compact {€19.50} — which, okay, since we’re meant to ABSPFing* I should probs use anyway.
All this moaning would be moot if I would just crack into Cocoa Brown’s Night & Day Tan {€7.99}, giving myself the proper canvas upon which to apply all the shimmer. This shows up the tan immediately, with no development time, and showers off the next day to a lovely, light tan. Or so I’ve heard.
And I guess I could work my way into the whole glow-y vibe by using the Chanel Les Beiges Healthy Glow Sheer Powder {€48}.
I am happy just to look at the lovely cream lid. I am such a weirdy, but that is actually lifting my spirits. So elegant. So… so full of je ne sais quoi. No, I know quoi — it’s an inanimate object, uneffected by the vagaries of les temps.
Anyway, as I watch the rain piss down from the heavens, I feel a rebellious urge begin to stir within… Let the tanning begin! Weather bedamned!
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*Always Be SPFing
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