Well, I love this, and for so many reasons.

‘Fake tan smell’ is legendary, and the first thing people always ask about self tans: does it stink? To be honest, most self tanning products aren’t pong-y anymore, a sure sign that real people actual do work on making products. I mean, I always reckoned that the robots were behind the creation and development of all that stinky stuff, because no human woman would find them to be acceptable in any way shape or form. Or maybe all the scientists were men, and now they are not.

This does not stink. In fact, it smells really pretty. When you are applying stuff near the nasal area, this is a big plus.

The gel is light, and there’s a bit of tint, so you can see what you’re doing. It feels glorious, and it absorbs something rapid. I’ve used face tanning stuff that feels like a mask, or as if it is getting into your pores with the sole intention of making you break out, so of all its excellent points, this may be the number one.

Oh, and: it gives good colour. Really good. You can tell from the photos I took of my false eyelash escapades. In fact, I looked so brown that during last Friday’s deluge, I felt a little self-conscious. But I got over it.

Naturally, I use this on my neck as well, and have even gone all the way down to the cleavage, and my arms may be next. I’ve used the brand’s Flash Bronzer for Legs all over myself, and nothing untoward happened… I’ll let you know either way.

€29/£23/couldn’t find an American price, and frankly, still a bit wobbly from that terrible loss in the Euros.