ME CHOOBS: Bliss and Elemis, That Is

Not me lady-choobs — I suspect this only plays in Ireland. Maybe even only in Dublin.*

I decided, as you do, that I wanted to smell like bliss’ vanilla+bergamot, which I love unconditionally and have written about before. I have used up my body buff and if I ever had the soapy suds, that was long gone. All I had left was the body butter, and I was all set for a good butterin’ from neck to toe.

Alas! The tube made the splattery-farty noise that is the death knell of product that dispenses from from such a package. LOL — sorry, it is very adolescent all up in here today.

I further decided that if there was a tiny blob yet to be had up this tube, I was going after it. So I got out the scissors.
BLISS all cut up
Except! There was like, tonnes of it left. This stuff is so rich that this was definitely way too much for one usage.

Damn! Nothing for it but to get out the cling film.
BLISS all wrapped up
It’s not a bad solution, but I am clearly going to have to feel vanilla-y and bergamot-y soon. Like, tomorrow.

And then! The very next day, I went to give myself a good scrub with Elemis’ Sp@Home Skin Nourishing Body Scrub
ELEMIS body scrub
Gah! The entire world of grooming is against me!

Look, I think there’s a little bit left…

Would you go to such lengths to get the last bit of a thing?

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The bliss prices are in the link, but should you not be arsed:
Body Butter £20/€25/$28
Body Buff £28/€39/$36
Soapy Suds £16/€22/$18

Elemis Sp@Home Skin Nourishing Body Scrub
€39/£28.50/$53
Go here for some gratuitous CumberPecs

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*’Choobs’=tubes=internal lady parts. But you call them ‘yer choobs’ when you are annoyed about something. ‘How To Kill A Joke In One Easy Step.’

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Dude Week: Things That Make Me Go Ooh! In the Shower

Alas, not this, unfortch.
B CUMBERBATCH DUDE WEEK SHOWER
A tenuous connection to Dude Week, indeed. Anyway! Shower! Ooh!

I don’t know how many body scrubs I’ve tried. I could figure it out, but how tedious would that be? I bet, though, that I could safely guess… between 30 — 50? Seven a year for the past seven years? Let’s just say 45. So when I dispensed some of Elemis’ Sp@ Home Skin Nourishing Body Scrub on my shower pouf and was inspired to exclaim, ‘Ooh!’ as I applied it — well, that’s a professional opinion, dontcha know. It is spectac.

It’s mainly about the scent, I reckon. Everything that Elemis produce smells divine, and the scent off this is so luxurious, it really does live up to its spa-at-home promise. Is it the macadamia oil? It is the sweet almond? I doubt it’s the wheat germ, but who knows?

‘Tis spendy, at €39/£28.50/$53*, but this does the pricey-product thing of lasting a long time, since you need to use so little. Also: the effect of the scrub — it’s the bora bora sand, I am sure of it — is comprehensive, and you won’t have to exfoliate as often as you would. Srsly, I was shiny and new for a week. Love it.

SHOWER OOH!

When a face scrub tells me to keep away from the eye area, I pretty much ignore it. Not that I am scrubbing that sensitive area directly! I am not that foolish! I don’t really mind the proximity of scrub to eye, though, and perhaps get a little too close for comfort.

I can confirm that that is the case, as the use of freeze 24/7 IceCrystals Anti-aging Prep and Polish {€54/£46/$65**} has converted me to caution.

This is the perfect facial scrub for those among us who sleepwalk into the shower every morning. It is fiercely frosty, the result of specially calibrated pure magnesium oxide crystals encapsulated in Advanced Silicone Emulsion << now, you know I so rarely just spout product info, but I really had no idea what it was that made this literally make my skin freeze. Smelled like menthol eucalyptus? I think I may have been trained over the years to think that everything briskly resin-y is eucalyptus. I don’t know that I feel at all enlightened by words like ‘magnesium oxide crystals’ and am particularly intimidated by ‘Advance Silicone Emulsion’ but this was invigorating, thoroughly exfoliating, and it made my eyes sting. It made them sting intensely. So, mind your eyes, like the directions say. Listen to the tube.

Like that, I didn’t bother to read all about how to use Nivea‘s new In-Shower Body Moisturiser {€3.99/£3.65/not in USA?}, which is: use your regular soap or gel, rinse, then apply this. Then rinse. It saves you the post-shower moisturising step, which I usually quite enjoy, but when I’ve had the need for speed, this product has proven to be a good thing. When I used it correctly. When I didn’t, I couldn’t figure out why I was smelling not-so-fresh? When you do it right, it is as nice as, but much more efficient than, applying oil to the damp bod and then towelling off. It’s the same principle though, which is to trap moisture so your skin will be refreshed during the rest of the day.

I think that’s it… I’ve got some hair care products in the queue — what a surprise! – so stayed tuned for more ‘ooh’!

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*Whoops: price point differential!
** Whoa: only 70gs in the tube!
*** Whew: that’s great value!

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Screen grab via the entire flippin’ internet, in fairness.

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Soz, Mr B Cumberbatch, for, you know, objectification and all that, but srsly: ooh!

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