Someone thought this was a good idea.

I… I don’t even know where to begin. Unless it’s with the addition of a Nightmare on Elm Street tag to go with my Silence of the Lambs look {scroll down, you’ll know it when you see it.}

I… Okay, Olay 7-in-1 Anti-Ageing Total Effects Mask. Love the idea of a thing infused with anti-ageing stuff that you lay on your face, and it’s all like you’re in a spa. Except yesterday was a Working Sunday, and I can’t actually work with this thing on my face — was soooo tempted to put on my specs, total Invisible Woman vibe — and I needed to get this work done, and lying around even for fifteen minutes was not gonna happen.

I ended up converting RGB photos in Photoshop, to CMYK, because you don’t really need sight for that. I will say that the mask didn’t slip a’tall, so, that’s something, I guess.

I — the thing is, I bet this is great in the summer, when you want a blast of chilly on your weather beaten gob. This is cold, like it just came out of the fridge. I also realise that I have a large face, and the thing probably wasn’t actually going to fit anyway, and that the bridge of my nose is the one part of my face that doesn’t need any of the 7 benefits accorded by this treatment, but this did not fit! And I kept trying to make it fit, until I got stuck into the file conversions and — well, I was going to say I forgot about it, but, no. Not possible.

The 7 benefits are: fine line minimisation, moisturisation, spot minimising, tone enhancement, brightening — these last three are very much akin to one another — pore minimising and exfoliation. After you’ve let the youth juice sit on yer face for the fifteen, you then massage the remaining nectar into your skin.

It felt sticky, and smelled of too much fragrance. I did feel refreshed, however, so that was something, too. Two things that were okay. Okay.

My only regret was that it was indeed a Sunday, and the chances of my doorbell ringing were nil. I’d say I’d get some fun running down to the postman in this yoke. I may give this another chance, one in which I am lying in a relaxed state — maybe the gravity will help the mask settle better — but seriously? Needs way more stretchy.

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RRP €19/£16.99

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