That’s just my opinion. Or maybe it’s just mine that are. No, actually, I think your feet are gross, too — sorry!

I have whatever is the opposite of a foot fetish. A foot revulsion. Since I was waxing lyrical on NY manis, I feel I have to talk about the pedis, too. God bless those ladies, the ladies who work on feet. I would rather dig a ditch than scrape nasty old dead skin off of someone’s heel.

Last March, I got a fish pedicure, on a Groupon thingie, and I sweartagod, my feet are still in fairly good nick almost one year later. Or maybe they are not, and since I am so grossed out by them, I haven’t looked too closely.

Allowing dead skin to build up all over again is just the nasty cherry on top of the disgusting sundae, so I bit the bullet and fired up the Emjoi Micro-Pedi. I have had all manner of scrapers at my disposal, from diamond files to things that looked like cheese graters, and I have been pleased by none of them. The little machine runs on 2 AA batteries, which power the roller <— which comes in a coarse, and an extra coarse grade. You can’t hurt yourself with it as it stops itself if it is held too close against the skin, like, you’re not going to scrape done to bone. It also claims to be easy to clean — the files are never easy to clean, the skin just piles up and piles up on the surface, and again: gross.

If you hate feet too, don’t continue after the jump.

This is the before picture.
OMG there is a picture of my nasty foot on the internet! Hairy toe! AHHHH ha ha ha!

Okay, crazy break is over. The thing that plagues me is that horny looking shiz up on my big toe. The other is that razor-like bit just below it, on the outside of the ball of my foot.

With all the cynicism in the world, I turned on the Micro-Pedi. The roller whirled away, and I applied it to the needy areas… and it didn’t hurt. Not a’tall! Skin didn’t go flying, but it did turn to dust and start to drift all over the place. I was glad I had the foresight to put down the bath mat.

After:

I am impressed! It may not look like much, via my iPhone, but holy wow, there is so much improvement. I am even feeling like I may put some lotion on my feet now, because it is not so off-putting to touch them.

I spent no more than five minutes apiece on each foot. The roller cleaned as easily as promised: it pops right out of the unit, and any lingering skin washes straight down the drain. I don’t know how long the roller can be expected to last, we’ll have to see.

I think my life has just been changed. How easy was that?!?

The Emjoi Micro-Pedi is currently on sale for €34.95 on http://www.lifes2good.ie.