Let this be a lesson to us all: I had some bad outcomes with the Garnier brand in the past, as regards self-tanning. But that was the past, and we all have moved on, and so when I got a sample of the new No Streaks Bronzer Self-tanning Mousse, I went for it!

No complaints whatsoever. In fact, nothing but praise.

Since I’ve been smart and have been SPFing, my skin took on a little bit of natural, not-burny colour. I know, weird, right?!?! That’s the only encouragement I needed, and the morning after this great discovery, post-shower, I put on my tanning mitt, shook up the bottle and got to work.

I love a good mousse, and this is a good mousse. The coverage is great, there’s enough tint so you can see the bits you’ve missed, it doesn’t stink, and it dries in a fingersnap.

Here’s a freaky picture of my arm, after two applications. I don’t know, can you even tell? Are you completely hypnotised by how little my hand looks?

I need to get a proper camera, because I swear, this is such a good hue. It’s not just about being not-orange, you know. Let’s raise our standards, people!

Besides being not-orange, this is warm and looks utterly natural. It’s €21-ish for 150mls, which seems okay to me. I don’t know, I’ve only just started bronzing, so I don’t know how much things cost this year. I will refer back to the coverage and reiterate that it is great, and so I would expect to get a lot of mileage out of this.

You can’t use this on your face, though. So what did I apply to me gob to make it look glowy and brown? Tune in tomorrow…