Let’s Do Thisssss, Part Two: Dr Lewinn’s Cosmetic Lift, Actually Doing It

Here we go! Giving ourselves a cosmetic lift, in the comfort of our own bath!

Here’s the before, for what it’s worth; iPhone, whilst always making my nose look bigger than it is, makes up for this unfortunate exaggeration by glossing over all fine lines and wrinkles. So:

Here’s the line up, one more time.

First thing: cleanse thoroughly with the Gentle Facial Cleanser {the light green stuff.} I tell myself that this is a much different experience to my usual cleansing… but I think I only want that to be so. It does feel lovely and fresh, and I am using the cleanser the way an aesthetician would: gently, just like it says on the tin, rather than my usual rough-and-ready removal.

Second thing is to mix up the Cosmetic Lift Powder with a teaspoon of water. There is a mighty amount of powder in this jar! I reckon… I reckon there are at least 20 facial lifts in this jar? I was never any good at guessing the number of jelly beans, if ya get me. I think 20?

Look, there’s tonnes of powder, whatever.

Mixed with the water, you get this:

Feh, thought I. That is nothing. Slightly annoyed, because this was taking time, and I had had to clean the sink, and everything, I started to paste it — I mean, stroke it, gently — onto my face, with the brush provided. I followed the diagramme and all, and started out a bit scabby because I was sure there wasn’t going to be enough.

This is why I am a bad baker! There was plenty!
In fact, I went over my face entirely at least thrice. I set my timer for 30 minutes — which was another rude awakening, because I hadn’t read that far along. I was only grateful that the delivery man had already come and gone.

Went back to the computer, typing with one hand and holding my specs up in front of my face. Not as super-efficient as you may think. I wondered what the heck was going to happen with this stuff on my face. So what, so it was going to dry? Dry into what?
Bwahahahahahaha! Into this, a full-on, seriously squinchy mask. The kind where your lips are are beyond pursed — they are practically turned inside out. My very thoughts became pursed.

Now, I lovvvvve a good, squinchy mask. If you don’t, then you will dislike this in the extreme. But me: lovvvve it. I felt like all my pores were being individually shrunk. I never wanted it to end.

Then: two teaspoons of the cleanser mixed with water. This was eyeballed: I tried to use the teaspoon, but it was pointless in the extreme. You have to squueze the cleanser out, not scoop it out, so filling up the teaspoon was rendering fairly imposs. I mixed it, as directed with one teaspoon of water, and used the brush to stroke it all over my face. this served to loosen the mask — gently, gently — and then used a few cotton pads to get the last bits off.

The carnage. Not too terrible!

I pat my skin dry, applied a few pumps of the very green Tissue Firming Serum, which felt grand, and then cracked open the last jar, the Vitamin A Rejuvenation Cream.

Wowee! Yellow! I really liked the texture of this, and you can definitely tell when it has all been absorbed.

After, in the wild, on my way to horses. Again, for what it’s worth.

I have to say, my pores have never felt smaller. And given the way that I’ve felt the weather has been beating up my skin, I felt uncommonly glowy.

I thought I would do this, you know, another time whenever. Nope! Gotta do this three times in ten days! So, five days from yesterday, I’ll be back in the bath — and black vest!


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