I am generally not mad about toners that require one to, er, hydrate oneself in the face by way of a spritz. I… I’ve got a filthy dirty mind, because I am choosing my words carefully here. Pump, squirt, spray — they are making giggle, smuttily. No wonder I write sexy books.*

This is the least sexy packaging I have come in across in quite a while, and yet, I am strangely attracted to it. It is so white, trying so hard to be pure, and yet its operative capacity makes me snort like a 12 year-old boy. Mixed signals!

Laboratoires Filorga Paris take their anti-aging seriously, and I can just see all the scientists in their pristine lab coats frowning crossly as I make my silly jokes. France as entire country is massively into its santé, and Filorga are big grown ups who have been at this for ages. Like, the 70s. Their site switched to French halfway through my research; it seems they do professional lines in glycolic peels and in injectable fillers, and in anti-aging mesotherapy, which also has to do with needles, I think, and includes ‘the famous polyrevitalizing complex NCTF®.’

Holy God, I’ve done so much googling for that one paragraph, I feel the need of a fainting couch. Perhaps, instead, I shall mist my visage with some Eau Anti-Age?

It is extremely refreshing. I mentioned the famous polyrevitalizing complex NCTF® because it is referenced on the bottle, and it transpires that it is a class of hyaluronic acid, and so therefore is meant to plumpen dry lines and generally youthify. {The number of tabs that are open this second!}

So, the point is, then, to … something something, the mists of time? The mist from the fountain of youth? Remember Myst? That’s the only time I got into a computer game. I got nowhere, but I enjoyed the weirdness of the environment. Uncanny valley.

Right. As opposed to the pumpy squirts that make me chortle, this is in actual fact a gentle mist, which = refreshing, and also not such a shock to the system. It smells very herbal as well, but there’s no list of ingredients on the site. Ah sure, go and have a look; the video shows a really clean spa, and now I want a good going over.

I’ll just get my cloak.

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*Drama Queen, The Fidelity Project, and That Magic Mischief are all my sexy books. So far…

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