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What Am I Waiting For?

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The self-tans are rolling in, the bronzers are ready to be cracked open, and yet…

And yet, I hesitate. Mainly because I look out my window and see this:

I wish I had video on this blog {soon…} because the rate at which those trees are swaying, and the horizontality of the rain — it is inexpressible, really.

So I look at that and think, I’m supposed to be tanning?

And then one of the other parts of my brain/mind goes: Yeah, but, why not? A little bronze-goddessy-ness would be a great pick-you-up.

Maybe. See, for me, the whole tanning thing is located firmly in an immutable part of the year, and it is attached to specific actions: laying out, the ritualistic application of suntan lotion, being at the beach or the pool, being on holiday — it is the mark of actually having experienced actual sunshine.

Here in Ireland, tanning is an activity that we use to fool ourselves into thinking that the months from June to August signify a period of time in which the weather changes for the warmer and brighter, i.e. ‘summer’. Or, we just do it because we feel like it, or we’ve got a wedding or a christening to go to <— this is generally more for the people who are personally involved in those events, but not always; I’ve got a wedding to go to,  and I’m thinking I may go get a spray…

I cling to this notion that tanning is only for ‘summer’, but on a day like today, I’m thinking it might be time to throw off the conditioning of a lifetime.

Maybe I’ll start, and just do my legs… but it is really only April… halp.

What’s Right With This Picture?

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Okay, so, this might feel a bit dodgy in terms of coming over all judge-y, but I have to remark on this. Having been invited to view F+F‘s spring/summer offerings, {available from Tesco} I came out of it with a nice overview of the range, which featured many a piece that appealed to me, and CD of images. I fired up the disc and began making selects: there were two models, and I kept going back to the dark-haired one, because I couldn’t figure out why I was so puzzled… Continue reading →

Feel Fantastic, Literally: Garnier Body Intensive 7 Days Gel-Cream

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I can’t imagine what my pal was thinking: the other night, over tapas and wine and chats, I noticed that I kept stroking my own arm. Kind of the way you play with your hair? That kind of thing. I tried to stop, and at one stage I think I may have actually sat on my hands, because it felt so obvious. I’m blushing even now, remembering. But, in all honesty, I don’t know that I’ve ever had softer skin.

I received a bumper crop of Garnier products to try, one of which made it through the first edition of Snap! Judgements with flying colours {bronze-y ones, in fact.} I was very much attracted to this notion of gel-cream — how could it be both, and not one or the other? Surely that’s like calling a new fruit and apple-orange? Well, it kind of is both, it is a gelly cream/a creamy gel. It’s opaque, like a cream, and yet it applies and absorbs like a gel.

Which is great, but the thing I find about gels is that they can be a little tacky to the touch. This had only a teeny, tiny tack, and it just meant that I had to find something else to do for several minutes until it completely dried. Which is not so easy, if you’re me and probably running late for something, or not peaceful enough to stand around naked. {Are you peaceful enough to stand around naked? Are you a tree?}

All absorbed and ready to go, I went about my biz, until I found myself sitting at that table, stroking my arm like it was a puppy. Which is terrific news, really, because soft skin is so important to me it’s one of my most-used tags. If it’s a big deal for you, too, I suggest you check out this thing here. The ‘flavour’ I availed of was grape; it also comes in peach.

The 7 days thing? Eh, not sure about that, to be honest. The key ingredient here is L-Bifidus, which is ‘inspired by probiotics found in yoghurts, {and} acts as an effective moisture shield, optimising skin’s natural hydration reservoir and reinforcing skin’s protective barrier to long-lasting preserve hydration.’ I wouldn’t really expect to get a week’s worth out of one go, I mean, between the horses and the showering? Yeah, not really. But the thing about this is, unlike many moisturisers, this made my skin feel as good as it did in the moments following absorption. That’s pretty impressive!

€4.99/250ml; €7.49/400ml

Snap Judgements*: Springing into Summer

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Or ‘summer’ as we generally call it in these parts. No! Let’s be more positive than that! We are springing into SUMMER here in Ireland, yeah!!! Let’s fake it ’til we make it!

Ahem. Snap Judgements is the way that you, the reader, can experience what it’s like to be a beauty journo when the stuff starts piling up on the desk. I’m going to give my instantaneous responses to a variety of products, and over time we’ll see if I was too hasty or dead on target.

Let’s begin… Continue reading →

Okay, Two Words: Hydrotherm Mattress

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HYDROTHERM MATTRESS.

So, up I got, onto one of the massage beds in Therese R Wellness and Beauty, in the Rochestown Lodge Hotel, preparatory to receiving Voya‘s latest treatment, and holy wow: the plinth was warm and it was moving.

‘What is this?’ I gasped, and my consultant replied, ‘It’s a hydrotherm mattress.’

A hydrotherm mattress. A mattress that is filled with water that is warm. So you lay there, and whilst your face and decolleté are getting their treat, your whole entire back is warm and floaty.

I will write more after the weekend about the treatment itself, which uses the Irish brand’s Bright Eyes cream, and involves lymphatic massage and seaweed eye patches, but wow, seriously: the HYDROTHERM MATTRESS*.

*Clearly, I have a thing for therapeutic furniture: I waxed lyrical about Zeba Hairdressing’s massage chairs only t’other day. Also, click the link for info regarding their fundraising event this Sunday!

Haiku Review: REN Guérande Salt Exfoliating Body Balm

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I applied this dry.
I dislike dry salt scrubbing.
Or do I?!? Let’s see…

I’m a featured columnist in the upcoming issue of Irish Tatler, and when asked for my latest beauty secret, I wrote: ‘Read the directions!’ Because I hardly ever do, and it has lead to some near misses. like thinking that the hair exfoliant was a styling product, for example, and wondering why it was so gritty. Luckily, I am not so thick as to have put, I don’t know, hemorrhoid cream on my toothbrush, but I tend to take products at label-value. If it says something about hair on it, and it’s in a tube, well, it’s styling product, right? Right?!?!

It’s a first world problem to do with mouse type. I swear, doing this job has ruined my eyesight, because of all the four point type I’ve had to read over the years. Since I didn’t bother with me specs when I decided to test REN’s Guérande Salt Exfoliating Body Balm, I squinted and saw that the recommended application was to a dry body avant le douche.

I prepared to do so, grumbling, because stupid salt scrubs are always so crumbly, and half of it goes down the drain, or is all over the floor, because I can’t get into the shower and then turn on the water, because the first blast is always frickin’ ice cold, and ugh what a drag… But the result was totally worth it, and the salt-ness of it is actually contained in a balm, which goes on smoothly, and not a grain is wasted. Huh.

I suppose I should amend my exhortation: read the directions completely. And maybe the label.

One day I actually read the label in its entirety— because I was wearing my glasses — and saw that you could also use this on a damp bod, if you wanted a gentler exfoliating experience. And so I did, and you know what? I prefer the dry brush effect! Not that this wasn’t as effective when wet, but I do prefer a bit of rough when it comes to exfoliation {…} and you get a double-scrub effect: you scrub it on dry, you scrub it off wet — it feels remarkably thorough for a home treatment, and the result is really soft, sweet smelling skin.

Yeah, so, I would have known better, and saved myself some gurning, but there you go. Happy enough to use it as it is intended after all.

€24 (available on cloud10beauty.com)/£20

Three Days Down the Country: High Maintenance, Wha’?

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Template for a chill weekend up from Dublin: sitting around, drinking cups of tea in various people’s houses. Watching movies, drinking wine. Not expecting to wash much, to be honest. That’s not very high maintenance, is it now?

Er, so, then, why did I need all the stuff at left?

And all the makeup I brought and forgot to put in the photo — or it didn’t even occur to me to shoot it as it always goes with me anyway, like my keys, and my wallet.

So, what did I end up not using at all? The toothbrush>> JUST KIDDING. The Avéne cleanser, the Clinique Turnaround Concentrate sample, the Kiehl’s thing in the small blue tub.

Hmm. That’s not a terrible average, to be honest, and I had suspected that the cleanser wouldn’t get a look in.

I must highly recommend the Lush Silky Underwear Dusting Powder. I haven’t used dusting powder since I was a sprog, and this was great for, er, taking a bit of the pong off before the Big Easter Hill Walk through a bunch of woods, up and down boggy hills, to a lovely wee church on the side of the mountain. Not that there was anyone to offend, the gang of us were all in the same state, but I felt better in myself to have done even cursory grooming. I also lashed on some of the L’Oréal Nude Magique BB Cream, which is my absolutely new favourite thing, and swiped on some of my also-new-favourite-thing, Clinique’s Quickliner for Eyes Intense, because you never know who you might run into in the middle of a bog.*

Post-hike, with the last leg of it in bucketing down rain, I had a lovely bath and was sorry that I hadn’t brought along this egg from Lush, but my hostess had a gorgeously frothy bar of lavender soap that an Australian friend gifted her from Oz, and boy, would I like to know what that brand is.

Always on the job. But! The biggest asset to my three days with very little application of cleaning products will be revealed in the next post…

*No one.

Oh, Lush, Why Do You Do This To Me?

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Not that I don’t want you to send me things — OMG, don’t stop sending me things! — but I swear, anytime there is a thing inside another thing, I go cray-zee with wanting to play!

The Immaculate Eggception is a double-layered bath ballistic, and you can hear the thing inside the thing rattling around. I made myself sit down and breathe, which allowed me to enjoy the Lush-y scents of vanilla absolute, ylang ylang, and grapefruit, and also to get a grip.

Not on the egg though, with the view to OPEN IT AND SEE WHAT IS INSIDE, but in order to calm down, because my water heater is waiting to be replaced and I can’t draw a bath.

Dammit.

The plumber is in tomorrow, and so I will have to just hang on til then. And given that the weather is bright and sunny, like, it is so not bath time, right?

{You just keep telling yourself that, love.}

€8.75/£7.99/12.95

Mum’s the Word: Buying for Sisters Who are Also Mothers

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I’m not sure, is it a good thing that Mother’s Day in Ireland falls on the Paddy’s Day* bank holiday?

A) You can’t just feck off somewhere.
B) Unless mum is fecking off as well.
C) A bank holiday Mothering Sunday is an excellent excuse for a real full out hoolie.
D) Because you can recover on bank holiday Monday.
E) Unless your family don’t party well as a group, if you take my meaning, then you’ve lost a whole bank holiday drinking Sunday.

Ach! How to cope? Buy a lovely gift for all the mum’s in your life, that includes the sisters and sister-in-law who have presented you with nieces and nephews, and godmothers, too.

Hmm. This is starting to add up. And let’s face it, there’s a hierarchy. Better spend most of your pennies on your mum. So what to do about the rest of the  mum-type ladies in your life?

My best default is Aldi, which is a no brainer, really. I know, I know, you don’t want to cheap out on the sister-types, but what do you think you’re getting? I myself would be delighted beyond words to receive a bottle of Phillipe Michel Crément Du Jura Sparkling Chardonnay (€9.99, 75cl). This will go a long way to making the bank holiday experience bubbly and festive.

I have a bubble-bias, so even without having tried this, I am happy to vouch for it. You know what I would love into little bits and pieces? A sparkling rosé. OMG, talk about tacky, but I would drink the living daylights out of a sparkling rosé.

I have tried two samples from the Abbott & Broome line: the Sweet Clementine & Grapefruit Luxurious Handwash (€1.49, 300ml), which is the yellow one in the middle of the group on the left, and the Divine Gingerlily Luxurious Bath & Shower Gel (€1.99, 300ml), which is the brown one on the far right. Their scents are rich, as are their suds, and the Bath & Shower Gel in particular is a real winner. Their line up looks fairly comprehensive, with a scent family to suit just about anybody, judging by the colours anyway, which may not be the most sensible thing.

My advice? Buy all the bottles, and you will be a total heroine.

*A teaching moment: that’s what we call it here, not ‘St Patty’s Day’. The more you know!