NAIL VARNISH

Post-Olympic Slump: I Haz a Sad. Is There a Cure?

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I’m not even supposed to be sitting here: the Dublin Horse Show kicks off today, and I really am supposed to be there. But even I am not about to go out in this hurricane.

Dammit. The show is my yearly visit to what is, for me, a mash up of Heaven/Nirvana/Valhalla < the latter minus the burning bark. Not that I can be at all spendy, but I really do need new jodhs. And a couple of pairs of those cotton gloves with the sticky bits on the palms.

The show is also meant to be a way to get over the great void left by the Olympics, which is of greater depth than I would ever have guessed. I have become less interested in the event the younger the athletes have gotten. Like, when you’re a child, even as unathletic a child as I was, you can still dream, you know? Not so much, the older you get.

Although! There was yer man Ian Millar from Canada: 65 years old and still jumping! Yeah, well, never mind, not much of argument, as I wouldn’t even feel able to hold the lead rope of any of those Olympic horses. So whilst the dream is well past its sell by date, I got all into the Games this year, and it took me a few days to realise that I really did miss them.

Sigh. I actually have work-work to do, which is grand, but I just feel so blah.

I think I will paint all my nails. In individual colours. I have many, many nail varnishes all of a sudden. I have a shedload from Avon, I’ve got to try & test a bunch for the newspaper, amongst which are samples from Yves Saint Laurent, Chanel, Lacura, Lancôme and L’Oréal Paris. Also, just got a couple from Max Factor, and also from new-to-Ireland brand LA Splash. And I can finish it all off with a Sally Hansen top coat.

Yes. Can’t think of a better use of my time. Apart from the work-work, of course. 

BRB.

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Sweeties for The Sweet! L’Oréal Miss Candy Collection

/ brightandbeautyfull / 2 Comments

Stripey goodness! Let’s pretend it is summer! {Although I know that New Yorkers are sweating buckets, and frankly, wish I had your troubles, betches.}

Here comes the Miss Candy Collection via L’Oréal, comprised of Glam Shine Lip Glosses, Color Infallible Eye Shadows and Riche Nail Varnishes.

Clockwise from left: Dolce Pralina, Tart Lollipop and Miss Candy gloss; Sassy Marshmallow eyeshadow; Wild Purple, Dating Coral, and French Riviera nail varnish; Naughty Strawberry and Innocent Turquoise eye shadow.

I’ve used the Infallible Eye Shadows before: the pigment is rich but the stuff itself doesn’t go on on well with a brush. You may have a different experience, but when all else fails, do as I do and use your fingers. I’ve swiped a bit of Sassy Marshmallow on my hand it is shiiiiiiny. {It is too gloomy out to get a good photo.}{Or I am just a crap photographer.}

The glosses are shiiiiny, too, but without much colour; even the poppy-looking Tart Lollipop hasn’t got much actual pop.

Since I am mid Dr Lewinn’s treatment, I’ll save the varnish ’til my nails are perfect.

This came with:

Probably not going to get that with purchase, but if the line could be summed up by anything, it’s by those bright, fizzy sweets. Yum!

Small and Perfectly Formed: Max Colour Effect Mini Nail Polish

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My toes are not perfectly formed, although they are weirdly small. No: what I am talkin’ ’bout is Max Factor’s Max Colour Effect Mini Nail Polish (€4.99). See, the thing about nail varnish is — other than the fact that it has been wasted on my manky nails — I get tired of a colour almost immediately. Also, it’s all about mood, isn’t it? Like, I’m not going to feel orange or sparkly all the time, am I?

When these little gems came through the letterbox, I was abso delighted. They are so small, I can’t even read how many ounces they are. I don’t think there is even room on the label to include it! Here’s another wack photo of one of my feet:

Combination of colour swatch/relative size of the bottle, of which its body is not as big as my big toe. I really think this is perfection in nail varnish dispensing.

Shown here is Candy Blue, part of the Dalston (London) palette, which also includes Lollipop, Cactus Green, and Cool Jade. This trendy London neighbourhood is joined by Via Tortona (Milan), Marais (Paris) and Brooklyn (NY) (<— LOL: honestly, if you only knew some of the places I have lived in Brooklyn… hilarious.) (Also: not a neighbourhood, it’s a borough, which is much bigger.)

There are 18 shades in all, and they run the gamut from deep opaques like the blue I am sporting, to yummy pale-and-creamy hues, to sharp and sparkly metallics. That’s all I need — you?

Oh: just so you know, this colour is coming allllll the way off before we meet Italy on Monday. Because: duh.

Hello, Holiday!

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Well, that is simply, fantastically orange.

In real life {not via iPhone} the pigment of that orange is so dense, it’s like paint.

And, that’s just one coat on the supermodel thumbnail, which should probably have its own Twitter account at this stage.

I rang Brown Thomas to find out the price, and then forgot to write it down, and now I don’t want to ring them back, because, you know, my voice is so unmistakable — yeah, okay, Conley.

So here I am, holding for Harvey Nicks… hmm… wow, really? I’ve lost track of the number of rings… well, fair play to them, being too busy to answer the phone…

Okay, House of Fraser! Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Return of the operator… who put me through to some poor girl who just happened to pick up the phone — okay, €22.

Once I get my cuticles seen to by a professional, I am going to do all my nails in Holiday! {Wait, I’ve said this before, haven’t I? This time, it’s for real!} Or maybe I will just bring this bottle with me to said professional, which makes more sense.

This colour launches at the end of May.

Who Says Men Don’t Notice?

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I mean, we know men notice, but I’m talking about the details here. The details that thrill us women, that we reckon will only thrill other women.

We’ve proof from the West that this is not so.

A reader writes:

Susan! A gentleman in a B&B in Galway was VERY taken with the Avon Seabreeze nails this morning. Was a little taken aback by his enthusiasm, but Avon have definitely one secured sale!!!

I’d love more details re: what the enthusiasm entailed, exactly, ahem.

There’s the man-magnet colour itself, nestled between Starry Sky and Viva Pink, and there it is, in the wild, on my big toe — I couldn’t bear to run that image full size again, but you get the idea. Even on my manky, manky toes, Seabreeze is clearly a beautiful, sexy, fun colour.

It’s great, fresh, and not-to-green, the perfect shade with which to bring in the Spring, as well mesmerising the male patrons of accommodation in Gaillimhe.

Here’s some pertinent info: you can’t buy Avon in the shops. Which I kind of knew, growing up in the culture of Avon Ladies, who are now called Independent Sales Representatives. Ring 01870 6540 or visit www.avon.ie to find a representative near you.

Plus, all purchases come with 100% money back guarantee, so should your manicure fail to enthrall the males in your vicinity, you can cash in your chips, or maybe try another one. That Viva Pink looks pretty saucy…

AVON Nailwear Pro+ Nail Enamel is €8

Ooh, Let’s Try This, Too: Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure

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In Greige Gardens! This neutral purple-y grey is just lovely, and we’ll put it to the ‘horseriding glove test’, too.

<< In more evidence that I have A} freaky, awful nails and B} no dignity whatsoever, here’s a really creepy picture of me  trying to show you what this gorgeous colour looks like in the wild.

Well, that is hilariously awful, so here’s the actual bottle itself, so you can see how it is actually pretty.

What is going on with my palm? It’s looks so stretchy and gross! Half the pictures I take of my face don’t make it on here, which has nothing to do with dignity and everything to do with vanity. I don’t what is up with the iPhone camera lens, but it makes my nose look like I sup a bottle of whiskey every night, and then get into a fight: red and squashed.

I also received a bottle of Nude Now, which sounds like an order, and sorry but I’ve got stuff to do that requires clothing. I kid.

Anyway, we’ll see how I get on after this evening’s equine adventures. Fingers crossed for a good result, ha ha.

Both of these go for €8.95, and can be got at selected pharmacies, and department and grocery stores nationwide.

Let’s Try This: Catrice Cosmetics Ultimate Nail Lacquer

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I think we all know by now that I am not the best when it comes to nail care. I’ve been gazing longingly at the Catrice Cosmetics Nail Lacquer (pictured, from left: Sing: Oh Champs-Élysées and Karl Says Tres Chic) I received about a week ago, knowing that the beauty and promise that shines through the bottles will be all but wasted on my manky nails.

But did I do anything about said claws? Did I stroke my cuticles with oil? Did I dig out one of those nail buffers thingies and attend to the ridges? Did I even bother going a few rounds with a hand cream?

No, I did not. So, you know, unless I find a patron saint of manicures to whom I can pray, I really need to start participating in the rehabilitation of my fingernails.

I think I really do not have anything to work with, to be honest. I see other people’s blogs and am stricken with manicure-envy: everybody has beautiful nails except for meeeeeeeee —

Anyway, these little beauties are only two in a long line of striking colours, and at €2.49, you can treat yourself to many of them; see here for the extensive pallette.

See there for my left thumbnail, my fave nail varnish model. I received a Quick Dry & High Shine top coat as well, which helps with the ridgy-ness. I normally wouldn’t be a fan of the pale end of the spectrum, and frankly, if I’m going to take such lackadaisical care of my nails, I should become one: the lighter colours wear better in the long run, and look less bad when they start chipping, which for me is in, like, one minute.

Tonight is horseriding, and we’ll see how we go. It’s a stringent test, I know — the gloves are hell on the polish — but I am a tough, if lazy, customer. When I find the nail varnish that works for manky nails and my equine activities, you will be sure to hear about it. Might the Ultimate Nudes be the one? We shall see…