Lovely and Long Lasting: AVON Nailwear Pro+

Here’s Naked Truth from Avon Nailwear Pro+:

V purty. Once again, the World Famous Supermodel Thumbnail™ is called to duty, and what a spectacular job she does, eh, ladies and gents? {Still working on growing back all the nails I willingly pared back to take the pressure off of Auld Schplitty.}

This made it through one night’s horseriding lesson, and its attendant gloves!

I am still loving the neutrals. They are so elegant. And of course, lighter colours wear better, too.

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€8. Available from your local Avon representative; ring 01870 6540 or visit www.avon.ie to find one near you.

@*!&$# Penneys! Want, But Know Better!

I have an obsession with jackets and coats. This came down in my DNA — I had a conversation with my auntie once, about how many jackets and coats we had, and that we couldn’t seem to stop buying them.

Jackets and coats are lovely. They are smart. They have snaps, and buttons — and my favourite, zippers — and collars and cuffs and are car length or full length or cropped. They can be anything!

They are amazing.

Now this. This, I look at it, and I gasp and sigh, but oh holy night: if there is anything in this world designed to make me utterly unattractive, it is a furry coat.

I can’t even wear velvet! Too curvy; end up looking like a plush toy.

So I can only dream, but I bet there are one or two of you out there who can pull off this look.

Grrrrr.
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Penneys Animal Faux Fur Jacket €35, in stores mid-September.

Autumn Wear from Penneys: Want This

No can haz this Scuba Zip Biker Jacket until November, though.

God, I love zippers.

Not so much love for the Primark website, which does not allow one to avail of shopping what is available at ce moment la. Annoyed, because there’s another jacket that is maroon coloured that I may like to get instead/also, but I’d like to daydream about it online for a little while.

Still. Zippers. Swoon.

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€35

Tanning Twenty Twelve: It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

I was ready to hang up my mitt for the season. There’s nothing I hate worse than anachronistic skin tone, unless, okay, you’ve got an event — I mean, yeah, of course, go get a tan for a wedding, especially if it is your own! I’m not a complete heathen.

But taking a bit of the glare off is one thing; being as bronzed as I can be in the ‘summer’ months is another. I decided I was done. Besides, I have a slew of foundations to try. Frankly, I’m looking forward to being a little bit pale and interesting again. ‘Dewy’, dare I say.

Right, so. Tanning Twenty Twelve: Terminated.

And then the sun came out! Continue reading

This is the Only Way It is Okay to Fake It

Hey! It looks as if I have had a French Manicure! Except, it is not!

As ever, ignore my poor application method, the backbone of which system is: just get it over with.

Why this is so exciting:

> My nails have never, ever been this healthy.
> Since they are so healthy, the white parts are really clean and, er, white.
> Because the white parts are so white, when I brushed on Ballet Slipper by Essie, a magical thing happened.
> Magical thing: one coat of polish/varnish, and it looked like I got a French manicure!

Yeah, well, so?
> So! If I don’t have the patience to do even one coat of colour for a manicure, forget doing all the malarkey required for a French one.

Why are they called French manicures? Nobody knows! Big disputes! Do they have anything to do with France at all, or did some American dude called Jeff Pink make them up in the 70s — or was it Max Factor {an actual man, not just a name brand} in the 30s? All that conjecture is via here, there’s links if you are interested.

I’m not. I want nothing more than to gaze upon the photo of my amazing nails. I have since pared them all down to match Auld Schplitty and am confident that they will soon be ready for another foray into the now satisfying world of fingernail painting. There’s this bottle of AVON Nailwear Pro+ in Tweed that I am gasping to try…

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Ooookay, A Bit Much for Daytime, But Still: Smokelicious Eyes from L’Oréal

Sometimes I don’t think ahead. I was sitting here, taking a break from work-work, and I reached down into the box that lives at my feet, down to the right. This is the box that contains all the new stuff, stuff that needs to be to hand, but is to foot because I am trying to keep the top of my desk from being too cluttered.

I reached down, and my hand hit this, one of L’Oréal’s new eyeshadow palettes for autumn, in the Colour Riche Les Ombres line. Hmmm, I thought. Green. I always think that green will make my eyes bluer, but it makes me look like I am due to be carried out of my gaff feet first. Eh, whatever, I like the look of the plummy bit, and after squinting, even with my specs, at the wee diagramme on the back, I laid it on myself. Continue reading

Colourful Claws: Essie Nail Varnish

What a difference healthy nails make. Nail varnish, once relegated to be reviewed on my toes, because my fingernails were so, so manky, is now one of my favourite things in life.

Essie probably won’t thank me for posting a picture of a less-than perfect finish, but sistuhs: this is day four. Day. Four.

Here’s what my nails went through in four days:
> Horseriding
> Dishwashing x3/day, without gloves
> 3 showers
> Lots of keyboard work {I had a big gig in the last week} which I am only realising as I am now typing, does indeed have an effect

That’s high stress stuff! And yet: four days! And only a wee bit of chippage! I don’t know, I’m sure other people do better, simply because they are better at applying it, but me, I am dead impressed.

{What’s she talkin’ ’bout, horseriding? The gloves play utter havoc upon a manicure, of course.}

Clockwise from left: Beach Bum Blue, Smokin’ Hot, No Place like Chrome, and Really Red. I also got the very classic neutral, Ballet Slippers, and my abso fave, Nothing Else Metals, a lavender-y metallic wee bottle of gorgeousness.

I am going to remove this now {*sob*} and do up all the nails in Ballet Slipper, methinks. I’ve cut my splitty nail all the way down, which is why it’s covered up. But thanks to — I know, I know, it’s all I talk about — Dr Lewinn’s Renunail Nail Strengthener, I have faith that it will grow back stronger than ever before. Because I wouldn’t even be bothering to paint my manky nails {not so manky now!} without its amazing benefits.

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€9.99/£8.50/$8.00

To Be Snatched Up On the Way Out of a Burning Building: Finishing Touch Lumina

The Finishing Touch Lumina Personal Hair Remover, to give it its full, glorious appellation.

Here’s the thing. I have inured myself to using the epilator on my chin, and below my chin. I get my eyebrows waxed, but can pull egregious hairs out one at a time. But the upper lip area? As sensitive and tender as the day I was born.

The only stuff that worked was some cream stuff I got at Boots — but that sadly let me down, and I have been wary ever since. The only thing worked was the Beauty Trimmer via jmldirect.com, and as reported via that link, it doesn’t bounce, and eventually just fell all into bits and pieces.

Enter the FT Lumina, as I like to call it for short. Also available from JML, it is even better.

Look how fancy!

A faceted jewel concealing a mighty blade!

It doesn’t look all that mighty, but it is! Two swipes at the upper lip with this bad gal and buh-bye, annoying and unsightly hairs! No pain, no tears, no smelly cream!

The thing about facial hair is that it is sneaky. One day, there you are, bopping down the road, happily hairless, and then the next second — the next second — you are maybe sitting having a cup of coffee with someone, and you go to touch up your illuminating powder, and there they are, those feckin’ hairs, sticking out in all directions. Gah!

This is one of my most necessary beauty tools, and seriously, if you haven’t gotten the message — GET THIS.

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For the record, other things on the list are: loved ones, iPhone, laptops, my stereo thingie, which isn’t exactly portable but is manageable, and my stuffed dog that I have had since I was 8 years old and has been everywhere with me.

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€18 [approx], £14.99; jmldirect.com

Clever, Pantene — Very Clever!

Here’s a pet peeve: packaging fails in the shower.

Oh, how I loathe tubs! They are so fiddly! And once you get them open, they can fill up with water and dilute your product, or! because you are trying to avoid the deluge, you set it on the edge of the tub, and then knock it over, and there’s your product all over the floor rather than all over your hair. Hate tha’.

When I got this tub of Pantene 2 minutes Deep Smoothening Mask, first of all I was like, Smoothening?!?!and then got all huffy about the tubbiness of it.

Then I looked at the top of the lid.

Now, that — that is pretty smart. The simplest of drawing conveying the cleverest of solutions.

Just peel back the foil…

And then twist the top back on! Then all you have to do is flip it open {okay, you may have to pry a tiny bit} and there’s your smoothening mask, ready to go!

I found it to be a total success in practice.

I don’t know if I felt that my hair was all that smoothened, but I must say that my highlights looked significantly highlighty-er.

A keeper, and an inspiration to package designers everywhere, I should imagine.

Bright & Boobyfull! The Belvia Bra

Some days… some days, you just want to give The Girls a break, don’t you?

I do. Some days, I simply don’t feel like hoiking ’em up in some class of underwire or push up bra. Days that are casual, you know? Nipping-down-the-shops days. {Opps, didn’t mean to do that, LOL.} Days where you’re sloping around the place. Days when the frontage can keep a low profile.

Today, in fact. Today I am sporting The Belvia Bra. Rather than sporting a sports bra, that is, which can also supply necessary support sans spectacle, but the mental shift required to just wear one and not do sport — nope, can’t get there.

So: you don’t want to wear a fancy bra, but you have to wear something, and I highly recommend this. I have it in black, and will probs go get one in white. It is so completely supportive and comfy, it must be some crazy technology, but it is only microfibers, which are fairly run of the mill by now.

They are used here to great effect: the bra is all one piece, and slips right over your head and onto your bod. There are no hooks, the straps don’t slip, and there’s none of that squinchy back fat thing. {Which you shouldn’t have if you have ever had a proper bra fitting. I’m actually due for one, in fact. Hmm: story idea!}

Now: It’s not quite a ‘cuppy’ as shown in the picture. But then, my Girls are not like hers, which are looking rather dramatic, even without a highly engineered bra. The straps are in the sports bra line, and are noticeable when the day’s top has a wide-ish neck. They are serviceable straps, and you may not like to show them to the world {I don’t.}

Nursing mums — says the internet — seem to like them, too: one can quite conveniently pop out a boob, and there’s no pulling and dragging on the sensitive bresticle skin.

I wouldn’t run for a bus in this, as it’s not that supportive, but otherwise? I’m so comfortable I may take a nap.

*FUN FACT: Since its launch in Ireland in February of this year, the Belvia Bra has sold 200,000 units. I don’t know, I keep thinking That’s 400,000 boobs, and it makes me laugh.

I think I may actually need that nap.

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The Belvia Bra comes in black, white and beige and retails for €15.59. Available at Heatons.